2023 Handball Tournament

Handball IV Tournament Report and Results

In excess of 150 competitors unleashed their skills on the pebblecrete to kick off the annual SJPC Handball Tournament. Once again thanks must go to all competitors for their commitment and effort to raise much needed funds for our local chapter of the St Vincent de Paul Society. The ultimate goal, for the chance to play in ‘The Big Dance’ on the last day in Term 3 and achieve ultimate glory, the coveted title of; ‘Year Level Handball Champion!’

The scene was set, two weeks of handball accompanied by 80’s and 90’s pump up music saw some students experience victory but many egos were dented and knees were skinned. Unfortunately, there could only be two finalists in each division, the stakes were high.

One report was that a student even forced his family to reschedule flights for a planned holiday to ensure he was present for Finals Day,...no doubt money well spent!

But after plenty of sweat, tears and trash talking, the cream rose to the top and the finals presented some scintillating handball.

The maintenance crew set the scene as they went into full scale construction. They moved the bleaches into place on centre court and the smell of fresh paint could be smelt in the air as the lines were marked. Tickets,...as usual, were sold out prior and when the recess bell rang there were only a couple of seats still available in the Executive Staff's exclusive corporate box,...  due to the fact that Albo had double booked, committing himself to opening Yarrila Place at the same time,...his loss! 

But there was only one Voice that everyone wanted to hear,... and that was the dulcet tones of the boys from ‘The Sports Detention Podcast’. ‘Golden Hands Gregson and P-Diddy Podesta kept the crowd entertained with their witty repartee and insightful commentary and analysis during the big games. 

Mention must also go to the house band ‘Hoare and the Bags’ whose instrumental interludes that included Bon Jovi’s ‘Livin’ on a prayer’ and Pat Benatar’s, ‘Hit me with your best shot’ kept the adrenalin pumping and the crowd jumpin’!

Some finals highlights included a back to back win from Sonny ‘Cold Hard’ Collier over Jumping Jack Harrison. Tully the Taipan Jarvis was too slippery for Ruby ‘Roundhouse’ Robertson in the Year 9 womens. And the International clash between the German entrant Sophie ‘de Schwarze Adler (The Black Eagle)’ Stockmann and 2022 champion, Heather ‘Callum’ Murray saw the Black Eagle shot down in straight sets. In the Year 11 mens final, the always cool, calm and collected Ajay 'PayDay’ Atwal had too many tricks for Francis ‘Frank The Tank’ Tran. But probably the match of the finals series saw Yr 10 Connor ‘Condog’ Ryan recover from a broken leg after a hard foul at Friday night basketball,… to push Lucas ‘Bam Bam’ Burridge to a tie break only to be defeated at the death.

In the staff finals, Jillian ‘One In A Million’ Clack had the measure of Rachael ‘Bad To The Bone’ Jones but no doubt ‘Jonsey’ will be better for the run after a stellar showing in her rookie year, so watch out for her in 2024! And in the Male Staff Final, after looking good early and an entrance that would have made Connor McGregor proud, Mark ‘The Imposter’ Coster went down to the young gun, Kalob ‘The Corner’ Stone in ‘a ding dong affair’ with many believing that ‘The Imposter’ had not physically recovered from his (some say) ‘upset’ preliminary final win earlier in the week, ...but I’ll let others be the judge of that one!?

Thanks again for all and sundry who were involved, it doesn't happen without participants, so bless all of you that scrounged around to find a random $2 coin in the ash tray of your dad’s car and were willing to ‘have a crack! You guys make this tournament happen!

Please check the table below for a full list of the results and I look forward to the extravaganza that is sure to be ‘Handball #V’ in 2024. And remember,…”rest is rust” so get into training!

For a full list of results check the table below:

God bless

Tim Davis
(Tournament Director & Ball Boy)